I Know, I Know

I know that my lack of updating in the past few months is completely unacceptable. Forgive me for I have been very busy and have not had the time to update.



Life as usual is a royal pain in the ass. I'm either at school or work. I'm hardly ever home, and when I am home it is either to get yelled at or sleep. I wish it was the second one but, more often then not life hates me and getting yelled at is more common.



That really sucks because I could use the sleep. I do not know why but for the past few months I just have had lots of trouble falling to sleep. The earliest I've fallen asleep, that I can remember, is probably around 11:30 at night. This does not seem so bad, but when you have to wake up and be on a bus at 7:15 in the morning on some occasions, it really sucks. It is even better when I have one of the nights were I do not fall asleep until about 3:30 in the morning and have to get on an obnoxiously early bus. Then it is just a struggle for me to stay awake during some of those really boring classes........well class that I have.



If I can just make it about another month and a half, then it will be winter vacation. A whole month of being able to sleep in! Except on those silly days were I have to work in the morning. Even better then sleeping in..........NO EARLY CLASSES!!!!!! No sitting in a class hearing about the fall of the 3 major powers in Europe in the early 19th century. (It's Russia (which stays Russia), Prussia(which eventually becomes Germany), and Austria (which eventually splits into Austria and Hungary).......btw.)



Thanksgiving is coming soon which means............AFTER THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! I am so excited about Christmas if you can't tell. It's probably my favorite holiday of the year. Let's hope this year goes better then last year.



I need to figure out what I am going to do that's special for the holidays this year. My dad and I use to do something special together every year, like going to see the holiday movie that the Times cinema was playing. Well, we didn't last year cuz it was the same movie from three years ago and now we apparently aren't doing anything this year because it is the same stupid movie. So if I do want to do something special I'm going to have to do it by myself as of right now.



That's it for now.....I should probably go study for test #2 of the day. I'll try to update soon...I promise!

Losing power and sanity.......

You know what really sucks, when you get to work and just as you clock in the power goes out. Seriously, yesterday while I was at work the power went out. We had to used little votive candles, that happened to be lying around in a box, to light up parts of the store. There was also a lot of frantic cellphone calls to customers explaining that no we can't deliver their order after all, or no they can't come pick up their pizzas in fifteen minutes. People were just having a hard time grasping the concept of no power=no oven to cook pizzas.

The most common response received was "But the shopping mall across the street has power so why can we get our pizza?" No matter how many times we explained that we are separate from that mall, it just wasn't sinking in. People were actually showing up, after we called them and getting mad that their order hadn't been made.

What sucks about this is that we wouldn't have had to deal with this if we would have been allowed to close. Originally we were supposed to be allowed to close after on hour because after that time our veggies will start to spoil. Fifteen minutes before that time was up we were told to put the veggies into buckets and into our big freezer so that they would stay fresh if we got power back on later. So while the rest of the little Audubon Court was going home cuz they didn't have power, we at Pizza Hut were stuck sitting outside, playing cards to pass the time. I have now learned that there are only so many card games one can play with two people without getting seriously bored. It got to the point were Ellen and I were just laying on chairs looking at the ceiling to pass time.

Finally after about two hours of being bored off our asses we were told the we would get to close..........at 8:30 and only if the power wasn't back on by then.........which it wasn't. So since it never returned, we were given the "fun" task of loading all of our cars full of cases of frozen pizza dough and toppings and schlepping them over to the Glendale store.......who coincidentally didn't even know that we were coming. Yeah that was a lot of fun.

As of 10:30 this morning work still didn't have power. I'm assuming it came back cuz no one has called and said otherwise. You would think they would call and tell the person who has to help open the place tomorrow if there still was no power, right?

In the last twenty minutes.....

I have been:

1) Hit 3 times by someone
-Once when the Little One Slapped me
-Once when the Little One hit me with a shoe she threw at me
-Once when the same Little One threw the dog's bone at me
2) Yelled at twice
-Apparently I'm supposed to clean up everyone else's dishes
3) Been called multiple bad things by the Older One
4) Been told that all the stuff that wasn't done around the house this weekend was my fault simply because I wasn't home

Where to go? What to do?

I'm seriously thinking about moving out. I'm sick of this. It isn't fair. I don't deserve it. Why?

Once Upon A Dream.....

How hard is it to find a simple copy of the Sleeping Beauty DVD in this town? Apparently it is harder then I thought because pretty much every store in the area does not have it in stock. And....pretty much all of those stores can't order it for you. Borders can't, Best Buy can't, Barnes and Nobel can't, I think you get the picture.



This sucks cuz I really want a copy of that movie. Grrr! It's tied for second(with Cinderella which I also need to get) on my all time favorite Diseny movie list. If I can't find it at any of the stores I go to tomorrow I may have to consider trying to convince my parents to order it off-line......that is if I can even find it online. This is getting to be to much work for one simple Disney movie.

Once again, this post would have cute and totally adorable disney icons to go with my ranting, but alas blogger is being mean again and won't let me load them!

Rain and Asphalt

I'm torn right now. Torn in my love/hate relationship with the rain. There are times when I absolutely love the rain. The sound of rain falling during a storm is awesome. Walking in the rain.......also fun. The dog barking endlessly during a storm........not fun. As he is doing right now, the dog barks anytime there is a storm.....ruining the coolness that is the rain. Grrrrr!

We also must bitch today at construction people. People who have been repaving a parking lot for five days and still aren't finished! They block off all of the entrances/exits except for one and pretty much make it so that I can't get to work this morning. I had to go the wrong way down the trucking lane and park in spots reserved for people from Heinamins and such.....not cool. Then I had to walk through all the dust that the stupid paving machines were making......ick! I just want this to be over soon!

I'm also very mad at blogger right now. I was going to add my "In Soviet Russia..." icon as well as some choice Harry Potter icons (in honor of tomorrow) but every time I try to upload them, blogger seems to refuse to display them........grrr!

Michigan 2007

Michigan was AMAZING........cept the whole sunburns on multiple parts of your body, can hardly move sort of thing. But yeah was a most enjoyable trip. I'll update soon with a much longer post once I get the picts. from the trip........so yeah.........till then.

They're doing it again........

And it's causing me to reach the ends of my limitations. I may just crack soon.

Just thought I'd let it be known, that updates will be very sparse for a while. Apparently my computer access is being cut off, so I don't really know how I'll be able to update.

Now some random Disney icons for you........for Disney makes me happy.
(Saw this for my birthday one year, Meg is awsome.)
(So wish I would have bought this when the DVD was out, but sadly I didn't and now you can't buy it.)

(Who doesn't love this one?)
(Cinderella, a classic. Need to buy this one soon.)

(Winnie the Pooh, if anyone ever disses Winnie in my prescence I will personally kick their ass! No one makes fun of Pooh bear........nobody!)
(Beauty and the Beast, My all-time favorite disney movie! This so should have one the best picture at the Oscars!)

What goes up........must come down.

I should just learn to expect the worst to come after having a really good day. It seems like everytime I go and have a nice, usually fun, and relaxing day, the evening turns out to be utter hell for me. You'd think that by now I would catch on to this and brace myself for the hell that usually insues.

Things Change....Not Allways For the Better

I was going to make this a nice, long post because I haven't written in a while.

Sorry, but that isn't going to happen after all.

As usual, stuff has happened and yeah.......nuff said.

Now I'm upset and just don't have the will to write that much.

Maybe, onece exams are over and I'm feeling better I'll write again.

Sorry!

Life Is Determined to Not Like Me....

1) I get to spend the weekend alone
2) I get to not eat because there will be no working stove or fridge in the house
3) I'll be alone
4) Apparently everything is my fault again
5) Did I mention I'll be alone?

Bored and heavily medicated

Ok....so the last part of that isn't true. But I wish it were right now. Sitting in front of the computer eating chocholate and watching movie clips isn't good for me. I know it isn't. But, considering it is the only thing that works right now, I'm going with it.

So......yeah. I can not wait for school to end. Well, certain classes anyways. Journalism could just go and drop of the face of the earth for all I care. I'm so done with whats-her-face's lectures. I'm sick to death of that accent and I'm totally done with discussion. The only redeaming (slightly) quality of that class is the funny guy in discussion who apparently doesn't know the year (Spring Break '98?) and can't open blinds. (Are we personally blind?)

History can stay. History is the only "Fun" class I have right now. Any class that gives you a weekly fashion show is awsome. I also love the inner debate you have with yourself and others........Kathleen.......about if your TA is either very very very gay.........or if he's just European. Which he obviously is being from the U.K., but apparently European guys can get away with dressing like they are gay?

So don't want to work this weekend. Just want to curl up with a movie and some more chocholate and just sleep away the weekend. Sadly, as usual, life hates me and its another busy weekend of working and studying and writing that stupid final journalism paper.

I just realized........next weekend is going to suck to........well at least until Sunday. Going to have all this free time and not have a single thing to do with it. I'm going to have a whole Sat. next weekend to be all moody and sad. Yeah!........not!

Considering it is like what.......11:30? and the medication is finally kicking in. I should probably go to sleep. Sadly, 8 am discussion awaits me. But, it is a history discussion so it is ok. But considering I have to work after that I should probably get some sleep. If I want to do anything with people tomorrow night I need to sleep. Lets face it if you don't know by now..........tired bitchy Mary is no fun.

Just this one thing....

I know.....I know..........I have a slight Harry Potter Addiction. I'm seeking treatment I swear I am.........just as soon as all the books and films are released.

And There Was Much Rejoicing Throughout the World.....

After many months of constant stress and aggrivation.......the seemingly impossible has been done! For The Princess Has Finally Gotten Her Driver's Liscence! Yeah me!

I swear the test to me seemed to last like 5-10 min. It was sooo quick. Though now that I think about it it probably was only about 10 min. because the person that I had testing me could barley fit into the car and probably just wanted my test to be over. I'm serious about this, even with the seat pushed all the way back he could barley fit in. Not to be rude but I think someone wants to think about a diet or something?

But regardless of people's weight, I'm just happy that I finally passed. When I got back to the DMV, I just wanted to know if it was pass or fail. But, no, we had to get my mom and go over my test with her. All I wanted to do was scream " Did I pass or not?!" But, finally at the end he tells me that I did pass and I was tres happy.

If the Post-it Says No!....Then it Means NO!

If the post-it note says "Do not touch!", then you don't touch. It's a fairly simple phrase one that people shouldn't find hard to understand. I figured wording a note like this would keep people away....I was wrong.

So I woke up this morning and started getting ready for school. I waited until everything else was in my backpack before I started to pack up my History paper. Heaven help someone if it got wrinkled. I have been working on that paper for ages and it was not going to get ruined. Well when I went into the kitchen to get my perfect paper, I was about ready to scream.

My paper, my beautiful history paper was runied! RUINED! Someone had spilled coffee on it and stained to whole thing! I nearly had a heart attack right there in the kitchen! What made it worse was that our printer wasn't working so I couldn't print another copy out at home. I had to suffer through my first class before I was able to run to the lab and print a new copy. But, thankfully the lab was empty and the printer there was working so I was able to print a new copy and turn the thing in on time.

When the time came to turn it in though I almost didn't want to let go. I mean I have been working and worrying about this thing for weeks. The thought of suddenly letting it go was kinda weird. But, in the end I had to let it go so that I could leave and not be late for Art History, plus I really didn't want to stay and watch that video.

Ok.....so that was mainly the drama for the morning. After class got to go have an awsome and yummy lunch with Morena and Imaldris. Tres Fun! Love me some Panera!

Randomness:

1) This is one of the cutest things I have ever seen! Is it not adorable?

2) It's so funny that it has to be adorable! It's so tiny yet makes such a loud noise!

3) If my kids ever act like this....I'll hurt 'em! Well obviously I wouldn't really hurt them but I would most likely go insane!

Can we get cable......please?

Ok....so if there is anyone out there who wants to send money to the "Mary needs money for cable so that she can watch the Tudors starting on Sunday" fund, donations would be much appreciated.

I absolutley need to see this series! It looks amazing! Spent like an hour yesterday on the computer just watching the first episode that you can see on IMDB or on the Showtime website. It looks amazing! I'm now back into my whole "why can't we be living in Tudor England" kick.

If I don't get to see it while it's on tv, and I know I won't since I don't have showtime (or cable in general) and it's on on Sunday nights when I'm not home. I'll just have to (sadly) wait until probably July when it will come out on DVD at the earliest. (Sadly the last episode doesn't air until June 6th)

Thinking and Penguins

I need to stop thinking. Thinking leads to doubt and doubt leads to stress and more thinking. It's an endless cycle. I hate it. I just need to stop thinking for once. I just need to be happy.

Here's a Happy Feet icon for everyone. Mumble makes me smile.

Where's my gold?

I know it's not real, but sometimes you just have to believe in myths.

Right now I'm really wishing I could go and find my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Then maybe I could finally get out of here. You know how people all ways say that once you hit rock bottom things can only get better? Yeah......well those people are full of shit because things can get worse when you hit rock bottom. I'm living proof of that.

Once again I'm being threatened to be kicked out of the house. Don't really know why, but I am. Once again I'm getting the whole "you have X number of days to get your stuff together and leave before we throw your stuff out and change the locks on the house". Doesn't hearing something like that make you feel loved?

The funny part about all of this is that I'm the only one that ever gets threatened to be kicked out of the house. None of the others ever get told that. I originally was told I would have to move out if I didn't get a job. Now I'm working two jobs while going to school full time because I get no financial help from my family. I guess that isn't enough for them because I'm also now supposed to make dinner and clean the house while I'm home between school and work. Never mind the fact that whenever I get home no one ever leaves me any dinner and so I'm stuck with whatever I can find which usual is little to nothing.

Everyone else around here can do no wrong though. Margaret can throw her hissy fits and my parents say that she can't do something but then a few hours later they change their minds and she's back to doing whatever she wants. Eddie's the gold boy and could probably get away with murder in their eyes. Emily is the oldest and therefore never gets yelled at. So since I'm not the oldest, youngest, or only boy I get all of the anger and yelling and such directed right at me...........doesn't that sound fun?

The thing is it wasn't all ways like this..............I mean I can't really remember, but there must have been sometime when my family actually cared about me. I know there were times when I wasn't yelled at every single day. There weren't times when my family made me cry daily. Just, right now those times seem like ancient history.

I know I act like this doesn't bug me that much. But, the truth is it hurts a whole hell of a lot. Between your family pretty much saying we don't care about you get the hell out of here to your little sister saying I wish you were dead and not getting punished for it. Everything hurts. It's been going on for so long that the pain and pressure of pretending to be happy is finally taking its toll on me. I mean there are times when I'm in actual pain from crying so much and curling up somewhere to try and escape all of this.

I want to leave here. I really do. But every time I decide I'm going to leave something happens that makes me stay. For some reason when that happens I seem to think that maybe everything will be getting better. Yet, every time I get let down. I guess I'm just not smart enough to learn that it isn't going to be getting better anytime soon.

I'm doomed to suffer in this hell. I don't get to have a happy ending.