It doesn't really matter any more.....

It's not like anyone is actually going to read this. But I'm going to write this post anyways considering I really need to vent right now. This is the only way I can vent (save talking to myself- which would just seem weird and creepy), since everyone else either to busy to bother listening to me, just doesn't care and doesn't want to listen to me, or is just not here right now.

I figuring out that this is happening a lot lately. It seems like anytime something big/bothersome comes up and I really need to talk to someone about it, no one is there. Or they just don't seem to want to be bothered with all of the many problems that make up my life. Then, being the crazy person that I appear to be, I keep everything in and just let it eat away at me. Which, inevitably makes the situation worse off then it originally was.

The obvious answer when I feel stressed would be to just relax. However, given my present schedule I am finding myself with less and less time in which I can just relax and let go. Either I have to be at school attending classes, or I'm heading to one of the jobs.

Work……one of the many current problems that are eating away at me. I walked into Pizza Hut yesterday afternoon to pick up and order that I needed. As soon as that happens I am faced with the question “What would it take to get you to quit at the library?” Obviously I was taken by surprised and couldn’t answer right away. But, once the surprise settled down I was able to explain how I couldn’t quit there seeing as how I want to study information sciences in grad school. (aka get a fancy degree to be a librarian) and any experience working in a library would be helpful in that goal. After this I find out that the only reason they want me to leave is because work wants to fire one of our completely irresponsible managers and can’t afford to do so unless they have someone who is willing to take her hours……aka me.

There are so many other things that are bugging me right now. But I don't feel like writing them here as some of them are rather personal. I just wish that they could all magically fix themselves or just disappear..........like that's ever going to happen.

It just seems like with all of this shit I'm getting more and more sad every second of the day. For once I would just like to be happy, for more then one day. It seems like it has been forever since there has been even two days in a row in which nothing was bugging me and I felt truly happy.

Egh, I guess as usual I'll have to deal with it...........there doesn't seem to be much else that I am able to do right now.